What are some ways to get over my ex boyfriend?

Parth Khanna

Parth Khanna, A Hungry Student. at A Self Owned "food Will Come Soon" Expectation. (2001-present)

Répondu il y a 53w · L'auteur dispose de réponses 60 et de vues de réponses 15.5k

Réponse d'origine: How do I get over my ex-boyfriend who has already moved on?

Let me tell you a real story.

There was a girl.. Who was studying in college.. In the same college he found a boy. With his looks, she developed a normal crush on him. Sooner that day, she started talking to him. They both liked each other and they talked a lot.!... One day, she realised that she was in love with him. She proposed to the boy and the boy accepted. He was not in love with her, or maybe he couldn't knew that it was just an attraction. 6 months later, they both break their relationship because of some stupid reason, the boy moved on. The girl couldn't.

A boy that moved on from a relationship that long, not a short period, will never even remember you when he'll get his next girl. But your parents won't get a princess like you.

Always respect yourself.. Be happy... Satisfied... Flirt... Enjoy.. Achieve your goal.. Then choose a boy that LOVES you unconditionally.

Priam Surolia

Priam Surolia, Advocate, Indian, with a bit of a cussing problem.

Répondu il y a 119w · L'auteur dispose de réponses 145 et de vues de réponses 103k

  1. DECLUTTER : Get that person out of your life. I mean totally. Everything that reminds you of that person, Chuck it out. Remove that person's contact from your phone, unfriend that person from Facebook, etc. That is the first step for moving on.
  2. DO NOT TEXT THAT PERSON: You may get the impulse to text that person, out of "love". Do not give into the temptation. It is a deadly trap,that is very difficult to get out. If you have that feeling of wanting to text the person, ask your friend to take your phone away, out of your sight, and not to tell the whereabouts to you.
  3. CRY, IF YOU NEED TO: Sometimes, all you need is a good cry, to get that person out of your system. Cry your heart out, and don't ever think of that person again, it's not worth the effort.
  4. DON'T PLAY THE BLAME GAME: There is a reason it did not work out, and that reason is not you, nor it is the other person. It takes two to break up — the problem wasn't just you, it was you two as a couple. Blaming the other person is not going to make any difference.
  5. DO NOT SPEND YOUR TIME REMINISCING: The more you think, the more you feel heartbroken. An empty mind is a devil's workshop. Do not give your brain the time to wallow in the past. Take up various hobbies, spend time with family, go outside, get drunk (not that much that you start drunk-texting that person), have a blast.
  6. PAMPER YOURSELF: Go to the parlor, or the spa. Get a haircut. Go on a shopping spree, for yourself. Do what makes you happy. And be happy.
  7. TAKE A BREAK: Do not jump into another relationship. Beware of rebound relationship, it never does you good. Take a break instead, go on a vacation, enjoy you single life for sometime. Reorganize your thoughts, reorganize yourself.
  8. REFLECT: After the initial "moping" period is over, reflect on your relationship, what went wrong, what you could have done better. Learn from your mistakes.
  9. RESTART: Reboot yourself. Start over, a clean slate. Do not carry the baggage of your past relationship into your future.

Once you are ready to move on, just close your eyes, and take a leap of faith.

Your heart will know, when the time is right, your heart will let you know.

Denise Williams

Denise Williams, Meditation and Self Awareness Guide (1992-present)

Répondu il y a 19w · L'auteur dispose de réponses 3.9k et de vues de réponses 1.6m

I’m sorry you’re going through that. Let’s look at the broader picture based on your original question: How do I finally stop the pain I feel over an ex ? He is marrying someone 17 years younger and he had asked me to marry him several times.

I believe a bit of understanding of very likely possibilities will help resolve this heart break. Shock has a tendency to restore reason when it has left us. You sound like a very reasonable woman…

So, I will begin by saying it sounds like he really wanted to get married right away but you didn’t because you value reason and like to know what you’re getting into before committing to it. Not an issue for him as it’s commonly not for those who bend the unspoken rules.

As well, it sounds like you were selective, but he was looking for someone as desperate as he. Whereas you didn’t perceive not tying the legal knot as the end of the relationship, he did. Further, that you don’t like the gamble of throwing spaghetti on the wall to see if it sticks, that he likes the thrill of such things.

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Moreover, from your original question, it also sounds like he married someone young enough to not only be his child, but someone he could control. Control is easiest when one is much younger than the other.

Let’s also consider you mentioned he asked you to get married several times and then he jumps up and marries someone else 17 years his junior when it became evident you really had no intention of becoming a legal couple liable to suit based on a whim because he just was not that Freaking special. Because of that, I’m really wondering how many weeks or months passed from your last refusal of his offer to the new bride? Then, to the day he trotted down the isle with this child? I’m guessing it wasn’t long as it seems your pain is still fresh?

Such things indicate not much time passed between the refusal of one and the acceptance of another which also indicates something was not quite right. Of course there is the possibility that he did a Mail Order Russian Bride, or that he had the young thing hiding under the bed all along unless, he stroked out and found someone so young and desperate for marriage he was able to propose within the first few days or weeks of meeting and then ran off to Vegas for the nuptials?

Anyway, regardless of what happened, coming from his end, it doesn’t sound like much love was shared between you because if he actually loved you enough to truthfully propose with the integrity of true love, he wouldn’t have been able to flip that coin and marry someone else over night.

So, my dear, it sounds like you’ve been played dreadfully. We’ll be glad it was just your heart which was broken and not your bank account.

Whether Mr. Charming did it cognitively with purposeful intent of gaining control, or was totally unaware of his psychosis behind his actions which could simply be extreme co-dependency at best, or some sort of other heinous plot devised on possibly, but very likely, someone verging on extreme psychosis if not fully there, I would be glad I did not accept that engagement.

Want to get over it? Watch. Wait and watch.

Please don’t mistake the perfect couple scene which will be shown to the world for reality; but wait, and watch what happens to the bride. As years follow, she’ll likely have the life sucked out of her as abuse does that. As time passes, and the abuse increases over the years, noted by the simple easily observed fact that she becomes more introverted, quiet and shy and eventually with very little to no confidence or self esteem, you may feel badly enough for her you wish to help her out of the mess you avoided but she got herself into. Or, you could just be darned relieved that it was her who was dumb enough to say yes and not you.

Any person, male or female, who can jump that quickly from one to another when refused, is not genuine and not to be trusted.

Granted it sucks to be charmed and tossed, but it’s better to be dumped than to be caged, extorted and exploited. When you realize that, you will be over it!

So, TG you have brains and waited to see what would happen rather than accepting an offer you questioned. Had you not questioned it, you would have accepted. That you did not, and waited meant you realized you weren’t ready and you valued yourself enough to learn what would be the consequences of your actions before you gambled on them. You may have not known why you hesitate, but you do now. Intuition is like that. Always pay attention to it!

Also realize that sometimes losing the fantasy is worse than losing reality. In reality, you had nothing to lose. But losing the fantasy you were waiting to see if it would become reality or not, hurts. It never feels like enough opportunities were given for the fantasy to become real.

Now you have reality. It might not be the reality you wanted, but it is real. Now that you have it, you can no longer deny that you were taking time so the fantasy would turn into a worthy reality, but you got a different reality. The reality you hoped for: Truth. However, though truth always rises, sometimes that truth is not what we wanted much less fantasized.

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Be glad, because of your choices, it will not wipe you out financially to discover the truth. Likewise, be glad someone else is living that truth and you are not. Let go of the fantasy as that’s the only thing you’ve lost. Look at reality and you lost nothing but time while being played by a looser you were smart enough to allow him enough to reveal himself.

You’re an intelligent woman! I’m impressed. It hurts being smart sometimes, but it can be devastating not being so smart. So, I would say celebrate for having been judicious enough to avoid not only that gilded cage, but also the fact that you will not have to pay for the rest of your life for making that mistake!

Sylvia Smith

Sylvia Smith, Relationship expert

Répondu il y a 115w · L'auteur dispose de réponses 292 et de vues de réponses 255.2k

Réponse d'origine: How do I get over my ex boyfriend who I was in love with?

I can completely empathize with you. When you love someone and it does not work out, it is the end of a dream. The sense of loss that one goes through during such an emotional period is very intense.... Still, life needs to go on and you cannot dwell on your past forever. Here are some things that you can be more mindful about to get over this phase:

Nurture Your Self-Esteem

Adopt the habit that your self-esteem needs to be nurtured back to health when it’s ailing. Of course, you're hurt and probably not feeling great about yourself. The best way to heal damaged self-esteem is to practice self-compassion. When you have self-critical thoughts, consider what you would do if a dear friend had similar feelings. Bottom-line: Be kind and patient with yourself.

Do not Brood

When we brood over distressing past events, we rarely gain insight into them. Instead, we just replay them in our head and get angry or upset over what happened. Disrupt the brooding cycle as soon as you catch yourself ruminating about the events in question. The best way to do this is to distract yourself with a task that requires concentration such as watching an interesting show.

Fight Loneliness

Chronic loneliness is much more common then we realize and it has a devastating impact on our emotional and physical well-being. The best way to combat loneliness is to adopt the habit of identifying and challenging self-defeating behaviors. Do not sabotage opportunities to make new social connections or to deepen existing ones. Accept the d'amour and support of your loved ones who care for you and will do their best to help you overcome this tough time.

Get some help here: It's all about your relationships

Krista Sanchez

Krista Sanchez, former Management/ Supervisor for Int. Restraunt Brand (1991-2014)

Répondu il y a 82w · L'auteur dispose de réponses 111 et de vues de réponses 69.2k

Réponse d'origine: How do I get over my sweet boyfriend?

Accept his words as sincere. He decided he won't have the time to see you. He had a choice in his setting of his priorities; and he chose studies.

While he was all the sweet things you stated, he has chosen this and you must realize that he has put thought into this and his studies (the basis for how the rest of life will be) Is where he feels he needs to focus. Don't listen to gossip mongers and bs. Take it as sincere and accept it.

It is not worth all the what ifs or why nots. You are better than that. You deserve better than that.

You really don't want someone that has chosen to cut you out, nice explanation with a pretty bow, or not. Get mad, get sad, go through the periods and steps of grief. Allow yourself REASONABLE time to do so, then get on with the life you deserve.

While you are mentally allowing this grieving period, figure out what hobbies etc you enjoy (drawing, writing, music can all be therapeutic). Try some. Also look for real friends that listen and will allow you to vent the overflow. That is what friends are for.

Its ok to be sad, but it's also a chsnce for a better beginning. I think you're selling yourself short making him out yo be so perfect. If he was you wouldn't have made this choice.

Besides, who knows, he may see the error in his way when he sees you moving on.

Whatever you do -don't call, text, email, stop by, and any other communication tactics with him. That's the one strict no-no you must hold yourself To. Do NOT let him see you hurt,grieving etc. it only reminds them they are a heel and makes them run the other way. FAST!!

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It has the opposite effect of what you hope for. Every time!!

Shelley Kesselman

Shelley Kesselman, studied at Episcopal Divinity School

Répondu il y a 63w · L'auteur dispose de réponses 3.6k et de vues de réponses 749.6k

Réponse d'origine: How can I fully get over my ex-boyfriend?

Staying friends with an ex is difficult. There is always that history lurking back there, and it is hard to keep the past in the past. Not impossible,but it’s mighty difficult. Very few people do it successfully.

It helps to remember why you didn’t make it as a couple. Those issues don’t magically go away. You are who you are, and those issues are still there, and would probably manifest again if you were to attempt a reconciliation. If being platonic friends eliminates the problems, that suggests where you ought to be.

I’ve lived this. My ex and I are great friends, but it has taken many years, and there was a VERY long time with no contact whatsoever. I suspec that time is what enabled friendship to be possible. I got on with my life and forged something wonderful, figureing that the best revenge was living well. (It was!) We also live 1000 miles apart, which makes it easier to focus on the lives we have and not roads not taken. If you are goingto try to be friends, you have to be able to look forward, not back. Until you can do that, give yourself space. It will be better for both of you. You can’t be a good friend to him if you are eating your heart out over the love you lost.

Cesi Luísa

Cesi Luísa

Mise à jour il y a 14w · L'auteur dispose de réponses 116 et de vues de réponses 18.3k

Your thoughts about him are based on emotions and emotions are created through the mind. So the work starts with the MIND. Easy said than done of course, because we all went through this type of experiences at some point in our life and it took even years, to get over it! So the premier pas is by accepting that it won’t happen that fast and it won’t be solved overnight just with a answer here on quora. The process is slow and you have to acknowledge this now. The deuxième étape is accepting your emotions as they are, if you feeling sad and want to cry, cry! Don’t play the “game” of “pretend everything is ok and you already move on”. Let me tell why this way of thinking is all a facade we try to show. when you were in the relationship you had experiences with that person, amazing ones I believe, without realizing both of you were in mode: soul ties, what that means? Means that both of you bond and created a connection beyond the physical contact, and now you may not be together physically but spiritually both of you are connected (soul ties). See how it takes a lot to heal from all of this? So take your time and express your emotions as much as you can (better if you express it sharing with people you trust), don’t be embarrassed to show how you are feeling and how you are thinking (even if involves jealousy), because people from the outside point of view don’t understand how deep feelings can be, they just think it’s discardable, one day you have it, the next day you choose not to have it and magically they will disappear.

You will heal, you just have to first choose to be real.

What are some ways to get over my ex boyfriend?

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