Mise à jour il y a 11w
What ended my relationship with my best friend?
Her Marriage to an idiot.
Me and my best friend met through Orkut (for people who dont know Orkut, you did not enjoy Social Networking at its best) and became very close friends as we shared a lot of things in common and enjoyed eachothers company. As the friendship grew, we became best friends forever. The so called BFF's. Inside both of our hearts we still are.
Before the marriage, the guy and his family knew how good friends we were because they both were dating for more than 2 years before they tied the knot. I met her husband on many occasions and Together with her husband and my girlfriend at that time, we went to watch movie, had dinner, play pool, and few picnics. Her husband and I had become really good friends during this time and we enjoyed our company.
As soon as she got married, she became really busy with her new family but he took some time out to atleast make a phone call or reply WhatsApp messages. One fine day, she called up and was crying brutally and spoke this words:
Me: ”What happened buddy? Why are you crying?”
Her: “I want to talk something serious with you which is important for everyone. My new family, me, and You”
I was shocked that why would she say this and why so much crying. I didn't have words to speak.
Me: Please go on. I am up for anything you say buddy. Always there for you.
Her: My in laws don't like me talking to a guy except my husband. They think a girl and a guy are never friends. They are worried what would society say if they knew that their daughter in law is having male friends. They are doubting my friendship with you and wants us never to talk with you again.
I was totally shocked to hear this and still had no words to speak. Never underwent such a situation ever in my life. I just comforted her on the call and decided to talk to her husband to discuss everything. So, I called him up.
Me: Hey ****(his name) Can we meet up? Need to discuss something with you.
Him: we can talk on phone. Please speak.
Me: Buddy I just want to tell you that she is my friend, a best friend and nothing as what you think. Please don't doubt her love for you. She loves you alot.
Her Husband: It is decided she would have to break the relationship with you. I just dont want more complications. So better leave her and let my family live in peace. And moreover, all u have is JUST FRIENDSHIP. Nothing more. It should not hurt u to break thr friendship. Would you want your best friend to get divorced because of your friendship?
He disconnected the call.
Me and my best friend decided to meet one last time. We both cried before she departed back to her in laws house.
We are still besties and will forever be. I am writing this today is to tell all of you that a guy and a girl can be best friends and doesn't mean they are having an affair. If you dont understand this today with my example, one day you would be writing a similar answer on Quora and that too using anonymity because her husband would be following you everywhere to keep an eye on both of you.
Thank You very much and all my respect to you Quorans for your views on this. I would surely like them to be best friends forever and ever. This is why we never spoke again.
Friendship is not just talking to each other for hours and meeting them often. Its a feeling for each other and having a part in your heart that is dedicated only for the friend with whom you can be your own self and still enjoy every bit of it.
Its not about bailing your friend out from a jail. Its about being in jail and thinking who would bail both of out
Strangely, one of the upvotes to my answer comes from her husband. I am not sure if I should be happy because he might understand our friendship one day or should I feel sad because of his hypocrisy.
Dhawal Yogesh Bhanushali Your wish just got “Tathastu” from above my friend. Cheers!!
(Tahtastu: It is an Indian word which was used to by Gods when they granted wishes)
Such a Lovely world!!
Thank you everyone.
Kyle Morrisey, digital marketer, writer
Répondu il y a 12w · L'auteur dispose de réponses 51 et de vues de réponses 119.3k
Me. I did. This guy had been my best friend all throughout my teenage years. Simultaneously, his family was slowly coming apart throughout this time. Dad cheating on mom. Older brother getting into trouble. Little sister getting a bad reputation. Got to the point where the cops were at his house pretty regularly and I got used to him crashing at my place instead. At one point he and a girl I was seeing were lying to me about their relationship and that really shook things up for a while in our friend group. She ended up really screwing him over as well so I felt like we were even.
I had my own insecurities at the time and so when I went off to college and found out things were getting much worse for him, I started thinking about how to be cooler (whatever the hell that meant) and how he shouldn’t be in my life anymore. I was developing a hero complex of my own, thinking that I was the solution to people’s problems, and the need for me to come by his place during fights or police visits was making me think I was important enough to lay down some hard truths. Furthermore, I felt like I had the droite to tell him why he was a liability. On Christmas Eve, he was reported missing with another friend and his mother told me she had no idea where he was. I made it more my responsibility than necessary to try and find him. When I did, I told him how I had to cancel Christmas plans and how he ruined everyone’s day, to which he responded how he never needed help in the first place and I was just inserting myself into the situation to save the day. He wasn’t wrong. I then proceeded to berate him and tell him how the reason he and his family were so fucked up was because of his “dad’s sorry alcoholic ass”. Over text message.
Prior to confronting him, I’d texted all of our friends and said “Guys, this is it, I’m ending my relationship with [friend]”. I then showed them the transcripts of the that last conversation I’d had with him. Their responses made it abundantly clear. I was not the hero I thought I was.
We didn’t talk for three years.
After three years, I was at a point in my life where I was actively reaching out to the people I’d harmed, and don’t you know he was at the top of the list. Our mutual friends had been hinting to me that it was probably time for him and I to reconnect again. I’d had a banger of a three years myself, so my pride was leveled well enough. I reached out and told him I needed to make amends.
And that was three years ago. We were enjoying ourselves at a concert on Friday night.
Alex Jonas, a étudié à l'école des coups durs
Répondu il y a 14w · L'auteur dispose de réponses 356 et de vues de réponses 212k
TLDR: He raped his wife.
Oh sure, he was kind of a jerk to me throughout our friendship but that was the last straw.
Me: Hey, buddy, want to come over like we had planned a few days ago?
Him: No, my cousins asked me this morning to go to the beach so I am doing that instead.
We had a moment when we stopped talking for a long time.
Me: That girl and I aren’t working out. I am having huge issues at home and I need a night out.
Him: Absolutely, I got your back!
Later that week, he picks me up and then picks up the girl and a friend that had contributed to us breaking up in the first place.
Fast forward a few years and the girl and the guy are water under a dilapidated bridge.
We’ve moved on. Matured.
He has made many stupid financial decisions, I offer what help I can but he did this to himself. I don’t offer money but I do provide the friendly emotional support.
My brother dies and he is there to help me as well.
Tout est bon.
Until he tells me that he has assaulted her. Raped her. Been abusive in several ways.
I tell him that I can’t accept or tolerate that behaviour, it is inexcusable. I tell his sister to let his wife know that she has more people supporting her and that I will do everything I can to help her daughter but that I can’t accept him as a friend.
I stand by my principles.
It is not about forgiveness sometimes, it is about a character of a person and what you can and can’t accept.
If I can choose my clothes based upon what they may show or reveal about me, what does my choice in friendship say about me when he can so easily commit these crimes against his wife?
I have no regrets save for not seeing it sooner.
Sakshi Garg, studied at Himachal Pradesh University Shimla
Répondu il y a 14w
People change when they meet new people.
I lost my love and my Best friend. Who once promise to stay forever. Yes he was my ex too.
I am just sharing our friendship journey here. Not the love one.
We met at school. Different sections till 8th. In 9th class our school decided to shuffle children. We came into same sections.
He had that 'casanova' image at the school. So like the every girl, he started to flirt with me too. Here a new friendship begins. Added each other on social media. Getting to know each other, sharing things, tough his flirts were still on.
One day he proposed, I denied saying it will ruin our friendship. Since that day he tried his every possible way to make me say yes. And on 14th of feb, I said yes.
Everything was going perfect untill he left school in 11th for IIT kota. We broke up. But our friendship still rocks. With time and little bit of feelings for each other, we became best of friends. Chatting whole day long. Sharing every secrets. Talking about everything. I don't hesitate telling him about my crushes too.
This continued till 1st year of college.
He was in jaipur doing B.tech. I was dropping for my medical preprations. He met a girl there. And started spending time with her. Don't worry only as a friend.
One fine day he suddenly blocked me from every social media. I try to find the reason but couldn't. During this our school organised annual function I went with one of my friend. He came too. We saw each other. I asked him the reason. He denied to tell me.
Later after that I got to know that his so called new best friend instigates him against me. And that is why he broke our 4 years bond for that 4 month old new best friend.
I lost him.
After 6-7 months.
I miss him so much. I sent him an anonymous message at sayat (Which became popular that time) he recognised me. He apolozised. He realised that his so called new best friend wasn't worth being his friend. We became friends again. Eventually best friends again. I forgive him for whatever he did. Since I know him how big idiot he is. In between he still had feelings for me. Asked me to be his girlfriend again. And promised whatever happens, whatever will be the reason of our breakup we will still be best friends. I agreed as I didn't want to lose him again.
We had our bestest beautiful memories together. Eventually I started to fall for him. Well keeping the love part aside. We broke up after 9 months of our beautiful journey of love. Stopped talking for while. And back with a bang again. Best friends again. This time forever.
He started trying on other girls (remember the casanova image of his.) He found one. No not as his girlfriend but as someone he can love.
We started drifting apart. He used to tell me everthing about her. But eventually he just stopped. He started giving her more time than he give me. Phone calls stopped. Chatting once in 2-3 days. Later he forgot I even existed. I broke again. Again I was the only one trying to save our friendship. But one sided friendship never stays.
He choose her over me.
He choose a 6 month old bond over a 6 years old bond. ENCORE.
I lost him again.
I lost the only person I had in my life.
I forgot the fact that if people can do it once they won't think twice doing the same.
Yes I do miss him and there's nothing wrong in missing someone. But it will be wrong in trusting him again. Which I am not strong enough to do.
Somewhere inside, I still want him back but we will never be the same again.
Thankyou for reading people. And sorry for the bad english.
Screenshot from an old conversation
Sarah Cheang, the freshest freshmen you ever did see
Répondu il y a 15w
This is so incredibly stupid looking back. I regret everything I said and did.
My best friend and I initially met in kindergarten, but didn't get to really know each other until around second grade. We were always placed in the same classes (we attended a small private school, where classrooms were divided by grade level), and once graduation rolled around, my teacher ended up recommending that we both go to the same middle school. It was another small private school, but this time it was Catholic. Our parents complied, and we stuck together for another two years, up until eighth grade.
Sadly, this time we ended up parting ways. She was off to another all girls Catholic high school, and I decided I wanted to go to a public school for a change. Unfortunately, the school she went to was half an hour away from my house and I didn't like the idea of forcing my mother to wake up every morning at around 5:30 am just so I could make it to school by 7:30. She couldn't attend my high school because we both lived in separate cities. I was incredibly devastated.
But there was something to look forward to. An excuse to finally see each other again. The dances.
Now, another problem arose. In order to get into Catholic high school dances, you need to present a student ID from a Catholic high school in order to get in. She could still come to mine, if she really wanted to though.
One night she texted me over Google Hangouts about this dance she's going to have, and I’m obviously excited. I reply and ask about all the details, but she doesn't reply back for another 3 or 4 hours. “Nvm” was all she wrote. I was incredibly confused, and asked her what had happened. She said she was thinking about bringing someone else as her guest to the dance.
But… it was one guest per person attending…
She was going to replace me.
My best friend, for a whole 7 freaking years was going to replace me. Sure, now that I’m writing it out it sounds overly dramatic, but a year ago I was fuming.
We got into this whole argument about everything. Heck, half of it wasn't even about the dance. It began to stem to how everyone thought she had been using me for gifts and mall trips. She brought up my “weight problems’’ and spoke about how she “at least got off the couch to do something with her life instead of watching YouTube all day.” I hit her back with how she was just jealous I was taller, curvier, and the fact that I had a boyfriend. It was all a mess.
Eventually, we just dropped it and we haven't spoken since.
It’s been a year, Isabelle. I miss you a whole ton. I mean like…we follow each other on Instagram and stuff, but we never talk anymore. Not like we used to. I miss the days when we would play Ticket To Ride at your house and build for hours on Minecraft together. I miss taking you to places and introducing you to music and giving you piggyback rides and sending each other memes at 3 am.
Merci d'avoir lu.
Griffin Gilman, works at U.S. Army
Répondu il y a 14w · Voté par
Isoemi Agborubere, studied Understanding Human Behavior & Inner Knowing at Life and Living · Author has 495 answers and 392.5k answer views
Lack of accountability and drugs made my best of 18 years be cut out of my life, just a few weeks ago.
After I graduated college, my mate and I bought a trailer together. It was rough, nobody teaches you how to be an adult, so we made quite a few mistakes.
Now my friend was relieved from his work place, so he would take me to and from work while I carried him during his job search.
I worked about a half hour away so he had to take two hours out of his day to pick me and drop me off which is inconvient, but when someone else is buyi ng your food and paying the bills it a fair trade.
He was usually a little late to pick me up which is fine, but about the fourth trip he started to be consistently late by an hour a a half with no explanation.
He kicked me out for a week after telling him that he needs to be accountable for his word and be there when he says he would and tell me if he would be late. He took it personally and kicked me out for a week until he realized he wouldn't have water.
Later, I gave him an application at the same job and same place that I was working and he would be making 2 dollars more than his previous employment. It made sense to me for him to take the job.
He wouldn't take for the simple reason he couldn't give up weed. So he stayed my driver for a little while later. Come next Monday, he never showed up to pick me up despite me reminding him an hour early and several phone calls.
Then he never showed up Tuesday either. I bummed a ride from a mutual friend who told me that he was going to Georgia because a drug dealer of his was giving him Molley and LSD.
The next morning I told him I was leaving. I have a military and civilian career to think about and his dependence on drugs was putting me at risk. (Literally he smoked so much all of my uniforms still reek of pot)
I was willing to help him still, I couldn't live in the same house as him. I dunno what he was thinking, but he started to lie to all my friends saying that I was smoking crack and fucking strippers. Which makes no sense because I get drugged tested once a week at work.l, sometimes twice.
He lied to mg girlfriend saying that I was cheating on her with a friend I meet twice. Still haven't repaired that relationship, he might have actually ruined it.
After I got my stuff out of the house, he became openly belligerent. He slashed new roommates are tires. We also had a cat which was nursing a blind kitten, the rest of the litter was missing and the kitten was the last of her kids. Now my old mate took some new drug and crushed the kitten with a fridge.
At that point the landlord evicted him of the property. Haven't seen him since, but I and a few of my friends still get the seldom death threat from him.